STATE OF THE BEARD ADDRESS
A Bi-Weekly Facial Hair Report
Well, folks, I'm not going to lie: things aren't looking too good. I hate to disappoint all of you, but I don't think I'm on track to hit my target image on time. Though I am a seething cauldron of man-hormones my facial hair is more Orlando Bloom than Robin Williams.
But worry not, beard faithful, I have not given up hope! My facial hair may not be flawless, but god dammit it's mine! So what if it has obvious missing patches! So what if it's a completely different color than the hair on my head! So what if it's whisper thin, itchy, and makes me look like I don't wash my face even when I have!
It's my facial hair dammit: As long as it's still growing, I'm not going to cut it!*
*for the next two weeks
A Bi-Weekly Facial Hair Report
Well, folks, I'm not going to lie: things aren't looking too good. I hate to disappoint all of you, but I don't think I'm on track to hit my target image on time. Though I am a seething cauldron of man-hormones my facial hair is more Orlando Bloom than Robin Williams.
But worry not, beard faithful, I have not given up hope! My facial hair may not be flawless, but god dammit it's mine! So what if it has obvious missing patches! So what if it's a completely different color than the hair on my head! So what if it's whisper thin, itchy, and makes me look like I don't wash my face even when I have!
It's my facial hair dammit: As long as it's still growing, I'm not going to cut it!*
*for the next two weeks
I think there's hope! As long as you groom it proper then no one will know that you have lacking patches of.... lacking!
ReplyDeleteI dig what's going on in the chin aria but you're gonna have to figure out the cheeks (Or as I believe the beard-o's call them, jowls..)
_Abort?: No
_Groom?: Yes!
If the hair color bothers you, there's always Just for Men! :D
Naw, it's ok by me. I have to not shave for two more weeks, though (at least) - I'm working off of the advice of the fine gents at "beards.org"
ReplyDeleteRegarding the "Abort: Y/N", my response is
ReplyDeleteN!
N!
N!
NNNNNNNN!
YOU CAN DO IT SAM. I HAVE FAITH IN THE BEARD.