terrible toilets

Toilet stalls in Japan are magical places. They have eight foot walls, toilets with heated seats, and toilet paper for miles. Life at OUA can sometimes be overwhelming. Toilet stalls have become my secret fortresses - places where I can escape from the confusion.

You can imagine my confusion, then, when I entered a stall to find the above monstrosity.

At first I thought it was a bizarre architectural misfire - clearly a builder was drunk and built a urinal on the floor. As I ran across more and more of these the probability of a Japanese drunk construction worker pandemic became less and less likely. People actually use this thing.

It's called a squat toilet - some sort of arcane hybrid of a toilet and the dirt trench latrines I used to dig as a boy scout.

The logistical pratfalls are obvious. Using a public toilet is dubious enough when you're seated - add the challenge of trying to maintain a squat position in the midst of a bowel movement on a urine-pooled floor and you're just begging for disaster.

So what do you do if you run into one of these terrifying little bastards? Hold it. Can't? Find a sink.
Read more!

Activity

Fuck I'm busy.

Not busy with schoolwork. The classes here still manage to be almost terrifyingly easy. I can stumble in with half scrawled sketches and still impress - that is, if the class even meets, which it has a tendency not to.

I'm not busy sightseeing either. Yesterday I went to Kobe - my last sightseeing trip. Really I wish I could see the full size Gundam, but I had to cross that off as impractical.

So what have I been doing? Fun things. Most of them either begin or end with Karaoke and liquor. Cosplay Karaoke, however, was a completely sober decision:


This is unlike me. My weekends are packed, my mondays are headachey, and my wallet is perpetually empty.

I'm finally seeing the real Osaka - the kind you can only see by making the rounds with real Osakans. It's a quirky, gross, fascinating place.

I really wish I had more time here. Read more!

Thomas the Tank Engine... Bus

This is actually a kids' school bus - possibly the greatest one ever. Apparently there's a Pikachu-bus somewhere around here.

I might steal it. Read more!

Salaryman ninja

Simply amazing. Read more!

Giblets

Oh man, I totally fell off the blog horse for a few days there.

I've been spending a lot of time with my new korean friends slash freaking out about actually having homework so I let it slide.

But no more!

Rather than force something profound out of exhaustion I'll use days like these to provide you with what you want - silly little anecdotes about life in Japan. Example:

I heard once that the human brain reads english words principally by judging the word length along with the first and last letters.

You shluod, for epxmale, be albe to raed tihs.

It's fairly interesting - and it explains why I keep thinking this tower says "rapist":

Read more!

Stormy Weather

The weather here is slowly turning from pleasant to uncomfortable.

I've heard that it's bound to happen. First it's warm, then muggy, then rainy. That last part lasts for about a month. Today I got a preview:

It didn't pour so much as drizzle incessantly. It was that gross in-between where you can't decide whether to open your umbrella or not and you always wind up wet regardless. I did not remember my golashes so I spent most of the day sloshing around in waterlogged boat shoes.

I also got my first real animation assignment today: a para-para manga flipbook. Basically I just have to do a head turnaround in a flipbook. I'm trying something a bit more ambitious, though, so it's probably going to take me a good while.

Add that to the other assignments I've incurred in the past few weeks and my workload looks a little waterlogged too.

So it looks like I'm going to have to switch into acting a bit less like an explorer and more like a student. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I suppose it was innevitable.

Oh well. Read more!

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS UNITE

Partied today with OUA's biggest group of gaijin - the Korean international students.

Since we couldn't speak eachother's language we restricted ourselves to a universal language: the preparation and consumption of grilled meats. Once we were full of meats and alchohols we played a bizarre variation on dodgeball where the guys have to guard the girls. Also girls weren't allowed to interact with the ball.

Gender equality? Ha! Well it was fun anyway.

Tomorrow we're all going to the aquarium, which will hopefully result in pictures to be posted here.

Hurray! Read more!

Golden Week

It's Golden Week!

"Golden Week" is the name given to the vacation time granted by the three holidays that started yesterday. The name is kind of a misnomer since we only get three days off in a row. I mean seriously I had class Saturday - this barely qualifies as vacation.

If this was America we would probably have moved the Emperor's Birthday up a week and taken Friday off for good measure. Japan, however, takes both its culture and it's work ethic seriously and so this is what we get.

So, what am I doing for this greatest of holidays?

Well... uh...

Hm.

Alright, I have no idea. Frankly I've been doing so much since I got here that I feel like taking a vacation from having adventures. The things I really miss doing are normal things - hanging around eating snacks and watching TV, for example.

I feel like the language barrier has made it impossible for me to make real friends here. Most of the people I talk to are too taken aback by the gimmick of meeting a foreigner to really speak honestly with me.

That said, isn't 90% of communication nonverbal? Maybe I'm giving language too much blame, here.

Tomorrow I'm going to a party with Korean international students. Their Japanese is much better than mine, and perhaps they understand where I'm coming from as fellow foreigners.

We shall see! Read more!

Church: again?

Today I went to a church that conducted service in two languages: Japanese and, of course, Korean. Wait, what?

I've been doing a pretty good job of jamming myself into the last place anyone would ever expect to be a white person. A Korean international church in Japan is one of those places.

I honestly didn't think it would be so bad when I tagged along with Joyce and Ariyana. I imagined a packed room with high ceilings and loud music. Maybe I'd get a few sideways glances - but before long I'd be out of there. No big deal.

The reality was... not that.


small room, folding chairs, quiet music, staring.

When the four people leading the music started they began to stare. I began to turn red. They continued to stare. I began to sweat a bit and laugh nervously. They stared somehow more intentely.

I looked up - nobody in front of me, nobody behind. I was surrounded by empty seats. I couldn't possibly look any taller, or whiter, or less comfortable. I waited until the end of the service.

Wait, why is everyone staring at me? Well, more obviously. Why is that man pointing?

A moment passes.

"Please" a man says behind me "up"

I stand, confused.

Another moment passes.

"Um... please... come... here" the pastor asks. Some hideous terror/embarrassment expression flashes across my face. The entire congregation bursts out laughing.

There are four of us standing now - the newbies. Joyce and Ariyana are here next to me - because they are good friends.

Pastor says something in Korean. He hands the mic to the girl next to me. She says something in korean. He hands the mic to me. He has fear in his eyes.

"H... hi. Thank you for inv..(stutter) inviting me into your church."

silence

"My name is Sam Thurman..."

silence

"Uh.. I'm from New York. Thank you"

Yes! That got them. Fact: all Japanese people (immigrants included) love New York.

Joyce and Ariyana introduced themselves - Joyce in Korean because, well, she speaks it. Then they all sang a song at us. It sounded welcoming enough.

I had a chance to talk with some people after the service. Everyone was actually very kind. Perhaps confused as to why I was there, but kind nonetheless.* I don't know why I'd expect anything less from church people.

And you know what? The service was quite nice too. Calming and ritualistic in a meditative way, not a brain-washing way. If I spoke Korean I might actually consider going back.

But I don't speak Korean.

*It's ok people, I don't know why I was there either.
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Church: explication

The pastor shouted something through the mic. Actually, maybe he wasn't a pastor. That's what we called the man in charge* back when I went to church - but this guy bore little resemblance to father John. Father John wore robes for instance, whereas this guy rocked a Hawaiian shirt. He was, actually, Hawaiian. Did this make it ok? No, I think not.

I'm just going to call him Prayer Guy - that sounds about right.

Prayer guy shouted something through the mic. What was it? It was hard to hear. Jump in the air, right? Jump and share? Not jumping prayer.

No, he said jumping prayer. Crap.


I can only laugh at a ridiculous situation for so long before the reality of my participation in it sinks in. Jumping prayer was my limit.

Lyrics projected onto the wall "God's word is always right, his word is my light, with him I'll never fail!" The band cranked out some shallowed out punk music. The irony of a christian punk song was, if only for a minute, precious.

I used to go to church every week. I liked it. I didn't believe - but that didn't really matter. It was the atmosphere. Church was about calm. Sitting, reading, comforting each-other. Stand up, sit down, eat a cracker, have some coffee cake, go home. Relax. It was something to aspire to.

But jumping prayer? No.

I don't want to go to church and yell at things. I don't want to go to church and plug my ears to the pounding pulse of terrible music. I could go to any crappy club in the city and do that. At least there I wouldn't be hounded to give donations.

Thank you, J House, for the free meal. Thanks for being so nice. Thanks for offering English translations of your theological diarrhea.

And thanks in advance for not holding it against me when I never, ever, come back.

*no, not god - the other one
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Church

Today I went to an international church college night at the suggestion of Hisano-san. Probably... was not the best idea. Well, at least there was free food. Details tomorrow. Read more!

Trash Rules

Japan takes recycling seriously.

Trash must be divided into seven categories: combustible, noncombustible, hazardous, bottles & glass, cans, paper & fabric, and PET plastic bottles. Trash must then be placed in a municipally approved plastic bag and labeled with a sticker (available at your city hall or town office).

Each type of garbage is picked up once or twice per month.*

Large garbage - furniture, electronics, etc. - must be scheduled to be picked up by a trash service at your expense.

Failure to correspond with trash laws will result in the termination of trash services for your domicile. You must then make arrangements with a trash service at your expense.

Paraphrased.

*At my building bottles, for example, are picked up on the third Wednesday of every month. Ugh. Read more!

Kyoto is for Lovers

Love was in the air in Kyoto today. I saw couples laying by the river holding hands, a couple preparing for marriage, and a few too many strange white people giving Japanese women the creepy eyes.

Kyoto still feels a bit like Japan-Land to me - a place where foreigners pay steep entrance fees to stare at pretty Japanese people/buildings. It's hard for me to appreciate Kyoto's Shinto temples when the sound of chanting is overwhelmed by that of clicking cameras.

Nevertheless I did see some very, very beautiful things...



The first of which was this massive "Super Big Parfait" that five of us split. The waitress tried her best not to crack up when she delivered it - that was nice of her. For the record, we finished it.


We walked straight from parfait to temple. Unfortunately I don't know much about the places we visited. Fortunately they were magnificent.


No picture could really convey the size of this temple. The ceilings must have been seventy feet tall.

There was some sort of ceremony going on inside - rhythmic chanting and bells and thick incense filled the room, which was gold leaved and intricately carved - it was magnificent.

No photos were allowed.


Apparently temple grounds frequently house murders of crows. The ones here were roughly cat-sized.


We were lucky enough to see a bride preparing for a traditional wedding.


Nearby vendors sold traditional goods - such as plastic smiling neon feces and bouncing dragon balls. Classy.

We also managed to see a geisha play put on to welcome summer. It was a sad story - one of honor and unrequited love.

The set changes alone made the show worthwhile. Sections of floor were moved away and new ones were lifted into place as the scenery flipped from Autumn to Winter in the background. The geisha were, of course, flawless. They really looked like china dolls drifting across the stage.

Kyoto was much more impressive the second time around. That said, I would still prefer a less packaged experience. I'm sure I'll find it.
Read more!

Osaka City Photo Adventure 1

I... AM... GLICO MAN!

The entrance to Dotonbori - Osaka City's downtown

A man walking a ferret.

Babs in front of a hip-hop clothing store in America town - SO MANY FUCKING COLORS

Yes, this is me eating brains.

See the worst parts of this picture? That's the stomach. Stay away.

GO THERE

Beware triangular nosed men.

Ramen from a shop in Den Den Town. Better than anything.

uh....

Jennice inside Super Potato - the most amazing videogame store ever.

Porn shops all over Den Den town have a hilarious/surreal/disturbing ad campaign featuring a stoic middle aged woman. Gives me the heebie jeebies.

Read more!

Brains

Spent the day in Osaka city with Babs and Vince.

Despite not really having a plan or any idea where we were going we somehow found everyplace we could have hoped for.

First we wandered through porn shops and videogame stores in Den Den town. Then we headed back uptown to check out clothing stores. Eventually we found our way to the madness of America Mura - a massive America themed network of stores. I'm not sure what America they were riffing off of there, but it wasn't the same one I'm from. It did, however, have an amazing Army/Navy store.

We meandered away from that insanity to the high fashion district. There we looked at things we'll never afford - seven hundred dollar riding pants and thousand dollar boots, for example.

Finally we stumbled accross Dotonbori - Osaka's downtown. Well, perhaps we were called there by the walls of flickering neon signs and giant motorized crabs.

We dodged hawkers and spiky haired androgenous hosts long enough to find a barbecue restaurant tucked underneath a nondescript building. When we entered we had to forfeit our shoes before being lead to our own booth. After some confusion we ordered three dishes, each from a different part of the cow.

I'm just going to say it - brains are delicious. It disturbs me a bit to know that ever person walking around has a treasure trove of fatty goodness sloshing around in their noggin. Maybe zombies had the right idea.

I've lost my camera cable - but as soon as I find it I'll post pictures of all the magical organ-y goodness. It was a good day.

Oh, and stomach is disgusting, FYI. Read more!

Very, very small pond.

A week or so ago an enterprising group of students photographed me from the eyes up for a tumbler design contest poster. At the time I didn't think much of it. I just assumed that they wanted diversity - the bunch of us from MICA being the only non-asians around made us the go-to guys.

You can imagine my surprise, then, when I walked into the OUA main lobby to be greeted by a four foot high poster of my forehead.

I'm like a local celebrity here. Well, that or the town freak. For the sake of fairness let's say I'm somewhere in between. My skin color and my height are enough to make me the focal point of any crowd. Throw a me-centric ad campaign in there and, well, let's just say I don't blend in.

Sometimes it's a ridiculous ego boost. Oh, hello Japanese Art School! Check out my skin color! Listen to me speak my native language! Isn't it amazing? Just like TV!

There are, however, some days when you don't want everyone to stare at you. Days when you don't have time to shower, or wash your clothes, or put on deodorant. It's enough to make me seriously self-conscious.

So what do I do? Well, either I try and stay immaculate or go for broke and stop caring, I guess. Let's just say I'm moving from the former to the latter. Read more!

Nerd

I spent today in Den Den Town - Osaka city's nerd district. It was awesome.

How awesome? Well you'll have to wait a bit to find out. I just spent the last few hours putting together a model kit, and I need some sleep. Read more!

Art Festival, Karaoke, Insanity

My day started at 9:45 AM with a friendly albeit wildly overenthusiastic scooter girl, and ended around midnight with screaming nerd karaoke. Also I think I'm in a Japanese longbow club.

Is it seriously 1 AM? Full story tomorrow. Read more!

A Thought - Contrasts

A few minutes down the street for me there is a small farm. It sells produce grown a stone's throw away, and is run by adorable old people. Three feet away from that is a DVD machine that sells some of the sickest porn you've ever seen.

Who is the target audience here? Read more!

Clubs

Today I visited CAS - the OUA Comic and Animation Society. Basically it's nerd club. Also it is awesome.

Clubs at OUA are something far removed from what I'm used to back in the states, where I run an Asian Film Club. At MICA, for example, I had to fill out a small packet full of paperwork just to get a classroom one night per week. In Japan every club gets its own room, no questions asked.

They can use this room for whatever they want, and it's theirs 24/7. Walk by the club rooms any day of the week and you'll see students hanging around - working, playing majong, or just chilling out.

The CAS room had bookshelves stuffed with nerd-reading material as well as a large TV hooked up to a mini PC. It was on this PC that they showed us some of their yearly animation reels, as well as several shorts they filmed just for kicks.

Also they publish a comics compilation book every year, which they sell. And they really get it printed from a printer - no xerox here.

I've never seen students (especially art students) come together like this. What would it take to raise this kind of team spirit at MICA? Is it possible?

This Sunday the club is hosting a party. We're supposed to be able to find it by the girl with green hair standing at the entrance. What have I gotten myself into... Read more!