Hundreth Post: Farewell, Beard

EDIT: sound is not working, due to some youtube silliness. I'll repost with another host soon.

And so today I said farewell to my beard - not with words, but instead with an electric razor. I'd elaborate but I'm getting a bit emotional... I'll just let the video do the talking:



Oh, and if it isn't working check back later - not to toot my own horn but you don't want to miss this one. Read more!

Moustache Wax

Creepy Replies
to the question "what's with the moustache?"

1. It's called the "tummy tickler" - stick around and I'll show you why...
2. I call it the "hornometer" - the ends curl when I'm randy.
3. I made it out of shower drain hair. There might be a few of yours in there...
   
4. HIS NAME IS WINSLOW CHESTERFIELD AND I SHALL NOT DISCUSS HIS AFFAIRS IN POLITE COMPANY!
5. I don't know, but it tastes like children...
   

Read more!

Facial Hair Plans

So, ladies and gents, here are my plans in regard to facial hair:

For two weeks I am going to continue along my current path. I'm going to try and get as much beard-volume as possible. To help I'll be eating plenty of pine cone hearts and beartooth gristle - proven to stimulate beard volumization*.

Then, for my last 2-3 weeks I will be carving my beard down to a ridiculous olde timey moustache, which I will wear without a hint of irony. I will be aided in this wonderful nonsense by a whole lot of Clubman's moustache wax, which I have already ordered:

*this is a lie. Read more!