Farewell to a Beard

Alright, I fixed the video. Let's hope Vimeo isn't so anal about copyrights.



Farewell to a Beard from Sam Thurman on Vimeo. Read more!

Hundreth Post: Farewell, Beard

EDIT: sound is not working, due to some youtube silliness. I'll repost with another host soon.

And so today I said farewell to my beard - not with words, but instead with an electric razor. I'd elaborate but I'm getting a bit emotional... I'll just let the video do the talking:



Oh, and if it isn't working check back later - not to toot my own horn but you don't want to miss this one. Read more!

On the Eve of De-Bearding

Tomorrow's post will be my hundreth - and it will be about my de-bearding. There will be a video. Try and recall the Natalie Portman head shaving scene from V for Vendetta, then multiply that by how sad it was when Simba's dad dies in Lion King and you'll have an idea what this is going to be like.

Oh beard faithful, what a wild road it has been. I only ask that you recognize it is the man behind the beard - not the beard itself - that has kept you entertained.

And will continue to do so. Read more!

the Bearded Visa Conundrum

Due to circumstances previously elaborated on I now have a beard - ergo the above is going to be my visa picture.

This presents me with a problem: I want to shave before I leave for Japan, but my lack of beard will make me look substantially different from the picture on my visa!

So what do I do?

Keep the beard until I make it to my apartment? Bring my electric razor and rush to the bathroom to de-beard after making it through customs?

Or just go bareface and chance it? Read more!

Moustache Wax

Creepy Replies
to the question "what's with the moustache?"

1. It's called the "tummy tickler" - stick around and I'll show you why...
2. I call it the "hornometer" - the ends curl when I'm randy.
3. I made it out of shower drain hair. There might be a few of yours in there...
   
4. HIS NAME IS WINSLOW CHESTERFIELD AND I SHALL NOT DISCUSS HIS AFFAIRS IN POLITE COMPANY!
5. I don't know, but it tastes like children...
   

Read more!

Another Beard Limerick

Sam had such great facial hair
that all the young ladies did stare
so he thought, though it seemed
it was something he'd dreamed
it really just give them a scare! Read more!

Facial Hair Plans

So, ladies and gents, here are my plans in regard to facial hair:

For two weeks I am going to continue along my current path. I'm going to try and get as much beard-volume as possible. To help I'll be eating plenty of pine cone hearts and beartooth gristle - proven to stimulate beard volumization*.

Then, for my last 2-3 weeks I will be carving my beard down to a ridiculous olde timey moustache, which I will wear without a hint of irony. I will be aided in this wonderful nonsense by a whole lot of Clubman's moustache wax, which I have already ordered:

*this is a lie. Read more!

State of the Beard: FINAL

So here I am: a bearded American. I could keep this mofo going (growing?), but it would just look messier and messier, so I think I'm going to stay with a professorial short-beard. I lack the hair density to pull off anything longer without looking like a complete psychopath, and I would like to get a job, so let's leave it at that.

I rather like my beard, and I plan on keeping it for the month or so before I skip town. I plan on removing it in stages - any suggestions?

-also-

In honor of Valentine's day I finished up a song I was working on. Unfortunately, it still needs much more practice and a good amount of finish - so expect a video tomorrow night.

In closing, beard faithful, will you be my valentine? Read more!

State of the Beard III: scanned

So how do I give you - my far away friends - a true measure of my current beard-atude? A full facial scan, obviously.* Click for higher rez!

*Yes, I drew a smile on my nose. Read more!

State of the Beard II

So here's where I am at four weeks. I know, I promised real (ok resolution) photos... well my camera is not playing well with my computer, so cell phone quality will have to do.

Beard progress has been slow.

Not only is my facial hair thin and blond - it also grows at speeds that rival continental drift. At this rate, I'm years away from my goal.

But, beard faithful, fear not!

Without a pressing reason to bail, I commit to continue cultivating my flimsy facial follicles! At this point, I don't think I'll end up looking distinguished per se - maybe I can settle for hilarious?

NOTE: Strange helmet / curly-q hair courtesy of rock-band induced forehead-sweat. Yes, you needed to know that. Read more!

Mantra

When I first began this silly bearded endeavor I scribbled a simple phrase in my sketchbook/journal:

In order to know himself a man must know his limits - facial hair included.

I stand by it. Read more!