Another Beard Limerick

Sam had such great facial hair
that all the young ladies did stare
so he thought, though it seemed
it was something he'd dreamed
it really just give them a scare! Read more!

A Damp Evening Walk

The best time to see Sea Cliff is late on a rainy night. The town goes silent. So silent that you can hear someone sneeze across town, maybe even recognize who it is. It's probably someone you want to avoid, but at least you know.

The rain uncovers the village's true scent. Its normal bouquet of exhaust and weed smell gives way to more familiar things - pavement, wet earth, pine needles and wood. It's comforting.

I spent most of my childhood playing in Sea Cliff - that's not something a lot of people can say. Most kids here spend more time at the seven eleven than Roslyn Park.

When I look out on these empty parks and winding streets I feel like they're mine - earned by twenty years of eminent domain. I don't feel like giving them up yet. Read more!

Fun With Ballpoints

Microns and fountain pens are all good, but sometimes I'd much rather use a ballpoint.
Ugh, web-safe colors are so dull. Oh well. Read more!

The Wonders of Technology!

Every once in a while a company manages to create a web experience so innovative that it changes the way you use the internet. With their "dressing room" feature H&M has certainly not created that kind of experience.

They start you off with the plastic corpse of some bricks-for-brains underwear model. You can try and tweak a few attributes to try and make it look like you - but it never will. If you try and import your own face, you'll wind up with something much more terrifying and hilarious, though.

Something like this:Sexy, non? Read more!

Facial Hair Plans

So, ladies and gents, here are my plans in regard to facial hair:

For two weeks I am going to continue along my current path. I'm going to try and get as much beard-volume as possible. To help I'll be eating plenty of pine cone hearts and beartooth gristle - proven to stimulate beard volumization*.

Then, for my last 2-3 weeks I will be carving my beard down to a ridiculous olde timey moustache, which I will wear without a hint of irony. I will be aided in this wonderful nonsense by a whole lot of Clubman's moustache wax, which I have already ordered:

*this is a lie. Read more!

The Beginnings of a Song

So I was sitting with my friend Rachel in a taco shack in the city when "Hurt" by Johnny Cash came on the radio. I explained to Rachel that it was actually a cover of a Nine Inch Nails song - then I realized that I'm missing out on the action; I should cover the song!

So I sat down with my concertina and my rapmaster and set about making my own version. That said, the song is pretty depressing - I might change "hurt" to "hugged."

Here is a (very) rough cut of what I'm working on:



hurt.mp3 Read more!

Oscars

The Oscars were entertaining! I think we just needed a host who wasn't just trying to be Billy Crystal. Hugh Jackman (alt: Huge Ackman) resisted the old song and dance by, well, singing and dancing.

He was energetic, self deprecating, and talented enough to make Zach Effron (spelling? who cares.) look like a soulless plastic shell by comparison - good show sir.

The non-Jackman parts were pretty good too, I guess. I didn't really notice... I spent most of the show pretending the stage was a giant monster...

Take that, hollywood! Read more!