Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Arms are Long.


I have very long arms. Now I know what you're thinking: "Sam is a tall person, of course his arms are long!" Yes, I am tall, but my arms are long. Crazy long.

An anecdote:

My parents and I were shopping for a bargain basement suit at the Men's Warehouse*. The warehouse was a maze of multi-tiered shelving units stuffed with suits of questionable origin. The look of disgust I carried must have been something close to confusion, as it was not long before I was accosted by one of the store's decrepid staff.

I could feel the old man's hesitation as his shaking hand dragged his measuring tape down my arm. He looked me in the eye for a second, and measured my arm again. "Your arms," he said to me, "they're so long!" I was awkward and fifteen so I responded with a nervous head scratch and half smile. "Follow me," he said, dragging me by the cuff with his gnarled old claw.

After that fossil of a salesman dragged me accross the store, showing me off like a trophy bass, he explained to me that sleeves would never fit me, ever. See it's not just the legnth of my arms, its the relative legnth. My torso is L, my arms are XXL.


*buyers note: if you want quality anything with "warehouse" in the name is probably not your best bet.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you kind of look amish.
and gangly.