New Year's Resolutions

Sam's Lofty New Years Resolutions
in order of attainability

1. Embrace my wierd
2. Eat something I can't pronounce
3. Camp.
4. Fall in love
5. Write a song
6. Write a good song
7. Perform a good song that I wrote
8. Sweep someone off her feet (figuratively)
9. Get something published
10. Put a brick through the Murphey's car window. I mean, seriously, it's 1:50 in the morning and the doorbell is like ten feet away. You could just get up, ring it, and your pampered progeny would come running.
11. But no, you just stay in your car, leaning on the horn and talking on your cell phone through the open car window like you're some kind of hotshot.
12. you're not a hotshot, you're a prick.
    
13. I mean, we tolerate your coffee-charged psychopath offspring launching hockey pucks at eachother in the street (I think it's some bastardized version of street hockey), but this is insane!
    
14. Why don't you just call the house? Hell, call the kid - I know you all have cell phones!
15. Maybe you can't hear the horn way up in your mansion, but from here it sounds like a fucking fire alarm.