Thursday, December 25, 2008

Santa?

Dear Santa: Thank you for the concertina. I've been futzing with it and it sounds great - like a thousand harmonica-faced kittens singing lullabies. I'm sure it will only sound better as I learn to play it. Some day I'll make a living off of it - playing strange sea shanty versions of David Bowie songs in New York subways. Those will be the days.

I know it was an esoteric present to ask for, and finding one must have been a bitch. My hope was that you would find the challenge refreshing - I imagine it's no fun carrying around a sack full of High School Musical backpacks and XBOX 360s.

And lets face it: you have a beard. If there's one thing I know about bearded peoples, it's that they all love the concertina. It's pretty much a universal fact. Just watch any pirate movie.

Oh, Santa, that reminds me - do you have any relation to Blackbeard (the pirate)? Were you ever a pirate? Are you guys locked in a cosmic allegorical battle that will determine the fate of the universe? I'm going to write a fan fiction about it.

Stay warm (though I hear things might warm up in your corner, so stay cool?)!

-Sammy

(unconnected thought: I saw a sign the other day that said "keep the Christ in Christmas." Well, if you take the "Christ" out of "Christmas," then you just get "mas" - which, for the record, is my first name backwards. Does that mean I'm the antichrist?)

5 comments:

Rachel said...

You should take a shower and then give me a call so that we can hang out. I want to hear you play something on that thing

Krissy said...

Happy days!

a.)Somehow it looks smaller when you hold it then I thought it would actually be.

b.)You are the Antichrist.

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Unrelated, you should get your hair cut...

imptwitch said...

hhhooooo snap.

I just thought of something.
-Blackberry commercial! That one with santa getting a haircut and being all slim and trim and young and hes all hangin out at the pool and stuff in malibu? You ARE HIM!

Krissy said...

Those Santa commercials scare me... D:

Sam Thurman said...

I do need a haircut. It's almost past my nose.